Otoons cat

How to speak about men and women and be politically correct.


She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
- She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY
- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT
- She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB
- She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND
- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED
- She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY
- She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY
- She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD
- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY
- She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not NAG YOU
- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT
- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE
- She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.



He does not have a BEER GUT
- He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
- He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING
- He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
- He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
- He develops a case of RECTAL- CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a SEX MACHINE
- He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
- He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
- He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES
- He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT.



And always remember.......
"Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way you are a mile from them and you have their shoes."


ManWoman.











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