HARD LIFE OF A DICK

Subject: THE WILLY

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: - I do physical labour - I work at great depths - I plunge head first into everything I do - I do not get weekends off or public holidays - I work in a damp environment - I don't get paid overtime - I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation - I work in high temperatures - My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: - You do not work 8 hours straight - You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods - You do not always follow the orders of the management team - You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas - You do not take initiative - You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working - You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift - You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing - You'll retire well before reaching 65 - You're unable to work double shifts - You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work - And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and >leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The Management

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