It is
natural.
There is no need to hide it behind the
beautiful word love. There is no need to create a cloud of romance around
it.
Ninety-nine percent
know sex only as a relief; they don't know its orgasmic quality.
Even if they think
they are having an orgasm, it is not orgasm - it is just genital relief.
Orgasm has nothing
to do with genitals as such. Genitals are involved in it, but orgasm is total -
from the head to the toes, it is all over you.
What is
orgasm?
Orgasm is a state
where your body is no longer felt as matter; it vibrates like energy,
electricity.
It vibrates so
deeply, from the very foundation, that you completely forget that it is a
material thing. It becomes an electric phenomenon.
Now physicists say
that there is no matter, that all matter is only appearance; deep down, that
which exists is electricity, not matter.
In orgasm, you come
to this deepest layer of your body where matter no longer exists, just energy
waves; you become a dancing energy, vibrating. There are no longer any
boundaries to you - pulsating, but no longer substantial. And your beloved also
pulsates.
Now, sexual orgasm
needs time - the longer, the better; because then it will go deeper into your
being, into your mind, into your soul.
Then it will spread
from the toe to the head . . . every fiber of your being will be throbbing with
it. Your whole body will become an orchestra and it will come to a
crescendo.
But if you are in a
hurry the orgasm becomes just an ejaculation, it is no more an orgasm. It is
local and very tiny, almost meaningless. In fact you will feel tired,
frustrated, depressed after it, because the energy is lost and it has not given
you a bath, so it was just meaningless.
You remain the old
- a little more tired, of course, with less energy of course, but you remain
the same. It has not been a cleansing process, it has not thrilled you from
corner to corner, from end to end.
Man always likes to
enter the woman immediately.
He is not
interested in foreplay because his positive pole is always ready. And women are
always reluctant to enter into the sex act immediately, without any foreplay,
because their negative pole is not ready. . . .
And man thinks the
sex act is simple. Why waste time? Enter the woman immediately - and he is
finished within minutes. But the woman was not a part, she was not aroused. . .
.
When the woman
remains cold, the man's orgasmic experience remains local, genital.
It does not reach
to his soul, it does not reach to his whole body. All his cells are not
thrilled, are not in a dance. It is poor, very poor.
It is a release, a
relief, but not an orgasmic experience.
Make love only when
there is tremendous desire and passion, otherwise simply say, "Excuse me,
it is not there, so what is the point?"
Pretending is not
good.
And if you stop
pretending, you will find that your depth of love-making has increased very
much.
Premature
ejaculation is really not a sexual problem at all; it is more a psychological
problem.
Physiologically
there is nothing wrong but psychologically you are in a hurry, that very hurry
creates premature ejaculation.
Why has man so many
ways in relating - heterosexual, bisexual, one-to-one or in a group?
Man has freedom to
choose.
And this choice can
make you pathological or this choice can make you a Buddha.
Now it depends on
you, how you use your freedom.
Sex has been called
the original sin - it is neither original nor sin.
Up to now societies
have been so much against sex - religions and churches against it - that they
have created a very very unconscious hatred.
You may not be
aware of it consciously, you may not see it anywhere in your mind so that you
can detect it.
It has gone to the
very roots of the body, to the gut level, because it has been centuries that
people have been taught to be against sex.
That hatred has to
be dropped, that hate and condemnation has to be dropped, and that can only be
dropped if you start learning a reverence for sex.
We suppress
movements. Particularly, all over the world, we suppress all movements, all
shaking for women.
They remain just
like dead bodies.
You are doing
something to them; they are not doing anything to you. They are just passive
partners.
Why is this
happening? Why all over the world do men suppress women in such a way?
There is fear -
because once a woman's body becomes possessed, it is very difficult for a man
to satisfy her; because a woman can have chain orgasms; a man cannot
have.
Any woman can have
at least three orgasms in a chain, but man can have only one. And with a man's
orgasm the woman is aroused and is ready for further orgasms.
Then it is
difficult. Then how to manage it!
She needs another
man immediately, and group sex is a taboo.
All over the world
we have created monogamous societies. We seem to feel that it is better to
suppress the woman.
So, really, 80% to
90% of women never know what orgasm is.
They can give birth
to children; that is another thing. They can satisfy the man; that is also
another thing. But they themselves are never satisfied.
So if you see such
bitterness in women all over the world - sadness, bitterness, frustration - it
is natural.
Their basic need is
not fulfilled.
Because of three
basic elements in sex, you come to a blissful moment.
Those three are,
firstly, timelessness: you transcend time completely. There is no time. You
forget time completely; time ceases for you. Not that time ceases: it ceases
for you; you are not in it.
Secondly, in sex,
for the first time you lose your ego; you become egoless. You are not, nor is
there the other. You and your beloved are both lost into something else.
And thirdly, in sex
you are natural for the first time. You are a part of nature - a part of trees,
a part of the animals, a part of the stars - a part! You are immersed into
something - the Cosmos, the Tao.
You cannot even
swim in it; you are not. You are just floating - being taken by the
current.
These three things
give you ecstasy.
The
future will have a totally different vision of sex.
It will be more fun,
more joy; more friendship, more a play than a serious affair as it has
been in the
past. :: OshO

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