 |
|
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop for directions) 4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) 5. WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS? (because they don't have penises to put them in) 6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON? (they're intended for children but men usually end up playing with them) 7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their ass holes and they vapor lock) 8. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties) 9. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 10. WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE? (so he can tell if he's coming or going) 11. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (nobody knows, since it has never happened) 12. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. (Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument) courtesy abhay ADVICE TO GIVE YOUR DAUGHTERS 1. Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander, it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same, they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the do it yourself types. 9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. 14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. 15. Sadly, all men are created equal. courtesy avibha gomati Top Ten Things Men Know About Women 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have breasts! . courtesy avibha gomati HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Wine her, dine her, call her, hug her, support her, hold her, surprise her, compliment her, smile at her, listen to her, laugh with her, cry with her, romance her, believe her, cuddle with her, shop with her, give her jewelry, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write love letters to her, go to the end of the earth and back again for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MEN: Show up naked and bring food. courtesy krishna prem Are you in love, lusting or married? LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch. LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. LUST - When you only see each other naked. MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. LOVE - When nobody else matters. LUST - When nobody else knows. MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - What's a climax? courtesy avibha gomati |
|
 |
|
 |
