Mother Teresa of Culcutta




That old dried-up prune, Mother Teresa, invites that old rotten fruitcake, Pope the Polack, to come and visit her Bleeding Hearts Home for the Dead and Dying in Calcutta. The Polack is thrilled to receive the invitation, so he gets Cardinal Catzass to pack their bags, and they fly off to India. Their first day is spent touring Mother Teresa's Bleeding Hearts Home, blessing all the half-dead Christian converts. The next morning, the two Catholic cowboys from Rome go out into the streets of Calcutta, to wave at the crowds of starving Hindus. But all day long, Pope the Polack has been acting very strangely. Cardinal Catzass is worried about the old Polack and asks him, "Your Holiness, what is the matter?" "Listen," says the old fruitcake, "as soon as we get back to that Bleeding Hearts Home, the first thing I want to do is rip off Mother Teresa's knickers!" "Really?" replies the shocked cardinal. "Why do you want to do that?" "Because," says the pope with a groan, "they are much too tight for me!"

Joke from OshO

Pope the Polack is on a pilgrimage in Calcutta where he makes an official visit to Mother Teresa's orphanage. Mother Teresa is showing him around, and the Polack is bending and kissing everything in sight. Suddenly, as he bends over to kiss Mother Teresa's pride and joy, the new church organ, the pope recoils in terror. There, stretched out across the top of the organ, is a big black condom. Purple with rage, Pope the Polack demands an explanation from Mother Teresa. "Well," says Mother Teresa, "one of my orphans found it in a package on the street, and when I read the label it said: `Place on organ and feel secure.'"

Joke from OshO

The average mental age of humanity is only thirteen years. This you call evolution? A man is ninety years old, and he has the mind of a thirteen year old. It is because of this retardedness that he believes all kinds of idiotic beliefs, dogmas, religions. He never questions, never inquires, never explores. He does not have consciousness enough to go on a quest for truth. And of course the politicians don't want him to evolve. The priests don't want him to evolve, because man's evolution is their death. An evolved man, a conscious man, has no need of political leaders to tell him what is right and what is wrong. He does not require any pope, any Mother Teresa, any Ayatollah Khomeini, any Shankaracharya. In fact, these people will seem to him retarded. So all the religions and all the political parties of the world are conspiring against humanity. To keep man enslaved, the best way is that he remains a helpless child, always in search of a father figure. In politics he finds father figures. In religion he finds father figures. It is not a coincidence that Christian priests are called fathers.

OshO

If people use birth control methods, then from where is Mother Teresa going to find orphans? Her whole business will be finished. And these orphans are being converted into Catholics, so the pope is in absolute support. You give Nobel Prizes to these people who need to be sentenced to prison for their whole life! They are the cause of poverty in the world, they are the cause of the orphans in the world. And they are still free, preaching the same old nonsense. They go on saying God gives children. On what authority do they know it? Have they got any proof, any evidence that God gives children to people? And if God gives children to people, then their God must be absolutely insane. Seeing this earth overpopulated, thousands of people dying, he goes on giving children? There is no God. It is the greatest lie invented by the religions to exploit humanity. And I am surprised.... Mother Teresa has been in correspondence with me. Because I condemned her so much in India, she finally had to write a letter to me in which she said, "It is out of my compassion that I am serving the orphans." I replied to her, "Your compassion is costing too much. You can be compassionate to something else, but please stop this compassion to orphans, and stop talking this nonsense that God gives children." And I wrote to her, "God is omnipotent, all powerful. If he really wants to give children, then he can do anything. What about the Pill? Can't God remove the Pill? God could part the ocean for Moses to move with all his followers; can't he make a passage in the condom? He can part the ocean, he cannot part the condom? So leave it to him. If he wants -- he is all-powerful, all-knowing, present everywhere -- he will do whatsoever he wants to do. Why are you bothering and teaching people against birth control methods?" Her next letter came without any answer to what I had written. She simply wrote, "I will pray to God to forgive you." I had to write to her again: "I have not given you the authority to pray on my behalf. I can sue you in the court. Who are you to pray on my behalf to a God who does not exist? You are interfering with my freedom. Stop praying, at least for me! I do not want anybody's prayer, anybody's forgiveness; I am not committing any sin. Pray for yourself." And that was the end of the correspondence.

OshO

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