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| 25 Ways for you to Know, You've Been Online
too Long 01. Technical Support calls "YOU" for help. 02. Someone at work tells you a joke & you say LOL outloud. 03. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 04. You've to get a 2nd phoneline so you can call Pizza Hut. 05. You don't know where the time has gone. 06. Your wife now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep instead of talking. 07. Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night. 08. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your wife is asleep. 09. You find yourself lying 2 others about your time online. 10. You'd rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying 2 much than the truth - online all night. 11. Your dog leaves you. Your wife threatens to... 12. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-face. 13. You have a map on the wall with lots of red pins to mark where people are you have met. 14. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer. 15. You go thru "withdrawal" if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours. 16. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you've your first cup of coffee. 17. Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had. 18. You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead. 19. You stop typing whole words and use things like brb, dunno and :-) 20. You type faster than you think. 21. You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted. 22. You dream in "text". 23. You double click your TV remote. 24. You check your E-mail and forget you have real mail. 25. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" |
| Some "Computer Terms" you need to know TERMS BACKUP What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods BAR CODE Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern BUG The reason you give for calling in sick BYTE What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro CACHE Needed when you run out of food stamps CHIP Pasture muffins that you try not to step in TERMINAL Time to call the undertaker CRASH When you go to Junior's party uninvited DIGITAL The art of counting on your fingers DISKETTE Female Disco dancer FAX What you lie about to the IRS HACKER Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking HARDCOPY Picture looked at when selecting tattoos INTERNET Where cafeteria workers put their hair KEYBOARD Where you hang the keys to the John Deere MAC Big Bubba's favorite fast food MEGAHERTZ How your head feels after 17 beers MODEM What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall MOUSE PAD Where Mickey and Minnie live NETWORK Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line ONLINE Where to stay when taking the sobriety test ROM Where the pope lives SCREEN Helps keep the skeeters off the porch SERIAL PORT A red wine you drink with breakfast SUPERCONDUCTOR Amtrak's Employee of the year SCSI What you call your week-old underwear |
