Dispatch form the Desert. # 8 100km north of Baghdad Iraq
PISSED OFF !
Deep deep thoughts about Truth and Beauty… as all teachers and saints have thought us the holiness of both, the way to god, the closeness one feels to the sprit through truth and beauty. This I question, at times being here in a war zone. All definitions are revised now. At least for now, what is Truth and Beauty. A very dear friend Deva Krishna aka Marco, once said about his art work, in explaining his feeling about art, his style, his style of painting “ well, as I look at my paintings, and that of other artist, I have come to the conclusion that it is both too easy and less enjoyable to paint ugly art then beautiful art”. I chose to paint and express the beauty… very profound indeed… ya - we choose…
I have chosen to be here. At times an uncomfortable situation not of Beauty and with little room for Truth…and I must say I have a buzz on most of the time…the vibe of War is a powerful rush, if only for the fact that it’s what is going down in the world - right here right now - in Iraq. Moreover, many other places of the world. It’s a constant unending movie of troops, helicopters, cannons, tanks, planes guns and trucks day and night.
And this is the conclusion I come to at this point – only the American people and more to the point, all of us, the whole world is to blame – and at least I am here feeling it first hand, up close and personal…
One cannot escape the scale of it all, the massive undertaking going on all around where I live, work and at times meditate– the massive unflinching grandness of the War Machine….and listen to this, it’s a very strong constant rush. It marches on. I don’t mean to dramatize it all…one really must be here to see hear smell taste and touch the war…it’s part of life weather we only read about it or see it on TV… for most people The War is far off and they are unaffected by it, so they think. So what it doesn’t effect me, I am not at fault or responsible for it’s creation or continuation.
I rebel against the common thinking of most mediators that if I can not do anything about the condition of the world, or change it, I only can change my self…grow closer to a state of self realization. I rebel against my hedonistic life at times. And yes a self indulgence life I (we) have led and continue to lead. Hey no regrets from me. Screw guilt.
Still I must admit I am an uninvolved hedonistic jet flying womanizing irresponsible all consuming premadonna world traveler ozone depleting - so called ex-addict - involved with the “ group movement / physiotherapy personal growth workshop movement” (with guru) - while dressed in clothes made by children in the third world walking with an air of coolness throughout the streets of the world with a buzz brought on by expensive single malt whisky when in reality being totally freaked out along with pissed off !
War. It’s all around us, not only here in Iraq. And I put myself here, for financial gain but also to understand more, to expand my experience, and thus, to know the Human Condition in it’s totality Man’s Condition.
I looked at the eyes of an American solider today and it took me down, way down man…down deep to his and my being…right to my guts of despair and helplessness…the utter stupid, wasteful, total bland nauseas sick dark reality. Of a wasted painful death of a young strong man But I was not depressed, more like is was another part of the Truth. And his Beauty…
Truth and Beauty…where is it here in Iraq ?
Narayana Rick Weil