(836)

 

“The million year guest”

 

 

 

                     I lived in the Sinai for a million years,

                                                 waking every morning in Gods country,

                                                 checking first thing from the door of my home sky

                                    sea

                                                 and the vast flatlands demarcated by mountains

                                                              red orange in early morning sun

                                                             cold and frosty on the sand, rough, a snow of rock

                                                             sandy silt rock orange to the camels coat

                                                he who stands perfectly unmoving and disappears to the eye

                                                                        in one heart beat within that unchanging land.

 

                                 I lived in the Sinai for a million years

                                                a guest to dunes and a sea that followed

                                                so much like a woman her cycles with the moon:

                                                              Lived perched half in half out a solid mound stretched canvass

                                                              palm branches

                                               architecturally sounded by a mind imported in from far

                                                                                     flown in from another planet

                                                                                    (but still so much in love with life) that

                                             this land

                                            with the love of a she creature in heat

                                lay at my feet one morning and offered me

                               as her gift of spring a flower,

                                                           one flower,

                                                           a flower blooming there…..

                               blossoming perfect white, her inner self opened for one day

                                                                                         to the powder blue of my cloudless Sinai sky,

                            not to far

                            from the same sea

                            that yesterday in grace made way for a whole people

                                                                                                     busy in flight and in search

                           for a life new in promise.

                           In silence I could hear them still

                           as they as one and me with them could open our arms to say

                           its now for us to know

                           to weave that tapestry rich

                           with life’s imageries

                                            rich with those inner wisdoms

                                            and songs we will have at journeys end to offer to our children

                          as the sun comes up again to light in time eternal

                          our rocky mountains that still so secret

                          promise every day new revelations

                             to you

                             to me

                        to the image of long legged white birds running

                                 unconcerned on the receding shine of our waters edge.

.

 

 

 

 

(835)

 

 

 

“ Mirrored ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                          Some men just

                                                            LOOOVE to hold court

                                                    and you will see them in position

                                                    or fighting for position or

                                                                            crying

                                                                            the positions they held……

                                          Casually

                                          walk around one of these people

                                                                                a full one eighty

                                                               degrees back to start

                                                               to ascertain

                                                               the dimensions they reveal………

 

                                         It might not be surprising

                                                                  to find  them to vanish

                                                      at angles oblique to ones light,

                                                      when lines of sight

                                                      lose hold of mesmerism’s

                                                      and you can claim yourself then

                                                                                      to be standing alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(834)

 

 

 

“Enjoyment”

 

 

 

 

                                      I enjoy standing

                                                  at the fronting table

                                       for books

                                       being sold on a Yeoville street.

                                                 Christ and you. The power of prayer.

                                                 How to answer your children’s questions in Christ’s name.

              Those are the only books sold there plus others

                              of the same vein….

              It’s a saints pit stop I notice,

              haloes blaze on as they pull in to gaze

                                  with reverent eyes at those titles,

              backs straighten and shoulders pull back

                                         as one  tome after another is lifted

                        to be randomly opened to any page, and words

                                                                        are critically acclaimed

                                                                        with recognized exclamations

                                                 of appreciation to the salesman that

                       happy

                       to pay heed

                                                smiles on as he acknowledges those egos

                       that

                                                for five minutes

                                                enjoy in innocence the pleasure of being “good”…….

 

 .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(833)

 

“ The laughter of a man

sitting down ”

 

 

 

 

                                    The laughter of a man

                                            that laughs

                                           sitting down;

                                           alone……. while doing nothing …..

                                           conjures theater of mind.

                                    Not

                                                 YOUR theater to YOUR mind but……..

                                                                         his to YOURS !!!

*

                                   Your theater

                                                     is

                                            guessing at his thought.

                                   And

                                           maybe you are  laughing

                                  at what you THINK he’s thinking.

                                  Or

                                          being disgusted

                                          at what you THINK his vulgarities are…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(832)

 

 

 

 

“ Agh Noit !!! ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              The smell

                                             of a cat messing about

                                             in its sand box

                                                              leaves NOTHING

                                            to

                                                              imagination …..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(831)

 

“The truth of belief”

 

 

                     The truth of belief

                                              must go uncontested.

 

                                              How to define without belief

                                             all we know, all we love and don’t ?

*

                                        How  to unite dream

                                                            with reality  without belief ?…..

                         We need belief in our life

                                        long enough at least to give us the steering powers

                                                                          necessary  to drive

                                                                          our  cars

                                                                          past cliffs and to keep ourselves on the road …..

*

 But know

                                 that truth and belief is only

                                an issue of false relief if you want to think that they

                                                                        are one and the same.

*

                          Do not go looking for truth

                                           in amongst beliefs, do not hope

                          for something solid to stand on there

                                                 to give solace if something solid is what you need.

*

Truth is Gods domain, as nothing exists separate

from the other and the picture is so vast

no human eye can be wide enough to see..

*

                        Allow truth to be out there in its magnificence

                                   recognized to its glory, something we can strive to be a part of

                       if we want, but know that to live in truth

                                         is to access something beyond all definition  a state

                      of being that in description becomes belief,

                               greatly lesser

                          than the sum of its parts.

*

                     Belief is a shadow.

*

                         Truth and belief are NOT one

                                                          and the same……

                                                   and to confuse the one with the other

                                                   is to dine on chalk and not cheese.

 

 

 

(829)

 

 

 

“ Easter’s good news ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

                 The Easter time road death toll

                 is down 24% over last year they say.

                                     Oh goody goody good ……  !!!

                There have been 54 less

                                           incidents

                                          of  death less this year

                          over

                          the year

                          last.

                                     Oh goody goody goody!

                Do I hear

                       (if I listen carefully) the sound

                                   from   far off  of some back slapping

                                                     from some  back room high up

                       somewhere ….. ?

                       Of a job well done…?  And NOW  (I think I hear them say)

                                      that look we can deliver,

                                      we are delivering,

                                                 we can now

                                                            shut the press up now

                                                           with news of good news !!!

                                                          Oh goody goody GOODY !!!!

 

***

                     What I do NOT hear…………

……………..is they do not seem to realize that……………………………….

…………………………….NONE of those dead………………

                                        …………………………will rise again !!! ……………..

                                            now ,

                                                  WHAT a pity that !!!

 

 

 

 

 

(828)

 

 

“When a detour becomes the main road”

 

 

 

 

 

                                      Easy

                                                           to push jealousy to its death

                                                         ((  if you know jealousy is not

                                                                                                 the way ))

                                                           by the murder of ones loving.

                                                 No love, no jealousy.

                                                                                                         Simple.

***

                                        You can be above it all when

                                                                      you don’t

                                                                     (if you don’t)

                                                                                                      allow the bloom of love

                                                                                                      to take hold,

                                                                                                      to change the rules,

                                                                                                      to change your world,

                                                                                                      to challenge you in to growing.

 

*On the other hand…*

 

                                        Easy

                                                        to stay jealous

                                                        if jealousy is all you know of love,

                                                                             it tastes delicious in its deliverance,

                                                        rewarding in its validation,

                                                        safe with the strength of mountains

                                                        comforting with the pain of love

                                                    -“ I am jealous

                                                                               and therefore I love”-

***

                                        You can be above it all when

                                                                      you

                                                                      allow jealousy its hold.

*

                                        You can put blame were you want and how you want if you want.

                                        And if change

                                                                     is to take place …………………..

                                                                     Well………………………………

                                                                     It will have be in the other camp (don’t you think ???)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(827)

 

“ Never say never ”

 

 

 

 

 

                      I can be as cagey as you,

                                 I can be as brief as you,

                                                   I can be as evasive if necessary

                                                   without ever resorting to lies just like you,

                                          just as honest,

                                          but like you I am a cauldron

                                                       of everything unsaid beneath,

                                                            like me you are the same,

                                                       dreams mixing with hope n’dream 

                                                       and passion and interests and loves and

                                                       aspirations and inspirations and contradicting visions

                               tied up in disappointment resentment and anger, a fisherman’s net

                               heavy with treasure and refuse, star fish and tin cans

                              woven in with

                               understood responsibilities, woven with cleaver knots to and with

                               misunderstood priorities,

                               with

                               crystallized (or just self serving at times) opinions

                               used as high up landmark flags

                               to keep ones bearings focused

                                                        in an  otherwise

                                                        to unsettled

                                                        to behold

                                                                                     setting……

                               Absolutes like “never” – “always”-“  are built

                               as high and strong  as castle walls at times

                                                                      to surround and protect all

                                                                                    that is treasured and dear…..

                                       Like ones sanity…..   or treasured dreams.

                                                       Or ones family …….

                                                                   Or culture ……..  

                              unfortunately at times

                                                        the walls are so high

                                                         not even birds or the sun can get

                              in and that

                              is why I say to me and to you

                                            to remember windows, remember windows. Don’t

                                                                                                   close your eyes

                                                                                                    on to the world

 

 

 

 

 

 

(826) -1

 

Memories

 

 

               Memories,

                                               shards of a pot

                              pieced together with skill

                  or not, with a glue made up mostly of need

                  and desire,

                                       a need to

                                        to see back an original shape

                                        that once so familiar

                                        lays now in fragments,

                  crushed by overlapping

                               events,

                               use,

                               and time ……………………..

                 

                 To remember

                 is a request to see beyond what eye can see,

                 in to a space  of colored threads

                       that     blown  by draft of

                                  celestial winds reach in to the deepest black

                                  of

                                  outer-inner spaces,

                       undulating root or squid like tendrils 

                  sensitized

                  to retrieve on to itself

                shapes that floating by, re-awaken the possible feel of vision.

 

                As fragments

                     they serve to confirm

                     (same as souvenirs do)

                               that yes you have been to Mexico (proof those gourd made rattlers

                                                                                        that every Purim

                                                                                        are lifted down from off your wall)

                     and that yes, you did have a baby ( those absurdly small sox confirm it,

                                                                          the sox you never had the heart to throw away)

                and who is that adult man

                                   that comes visiting now

                                                                  on occasion,

                                  did he actually wear these sox at one time?

                Those are memories that still connected to a time

                of conscious decision making tomes that speak volumes still float

                                                   vaguely close to the minds surface

                                                                                               of YOUR collecting self .

 

 

 

 

(826) -2

 

 

 

          

 

 

 

             Deeper and deeper one can go

                                  in to another realm ,

              in to a passenger time

                           of vaguely knowing again

                           what’s it like to be pushed in a pram

                                        or ride somebody’s back wrapped in a woolen blanket

                            or what it was like to sit in a sandbox wondering at that wide space above

              as hands close the front of your coat….

              and there are voices……

              that demand ……..

                            you …….

                           blow your nose in to a tissue that’s being pressed

                                                                                   against your face……..

                           when somebody’s tone of voice was more

                                                                                      than half the message.

 

             What shape does

                                 the pot have now , what is missing, and does it hold water?

             What do you use

                                  to replace all that is missing

              and

                                  from were did you harvest all you  appropriated

                                                                                           back

                                                                                                           to this time ?

 

             Back and forth

                             across a life, tourists cruise the continent

                             of past lovers, children raised , friends had …

              marriages and deaths

                              diplomas earned , cities lived  in

              all points

                             that

                             wile

                             seeking moment

                                          landmark

                                          back to us

                                          our other side of our visible moon …

                            

 

 

 

 

(823)

 

 

“ Simple ”

Without saying a word we all know

what I am talking about here

 

 

 

 

 

                                               If it works

                                                      take credit

                                                      then FIX it

                                                      fix it, and when it falls apart

                                                                                talk of strategies

                                                                                talk of committees

                                                                                talk of strategies

                                                                                talk of feasibilities

                                                      case studies

                                                then

                                                as the system disintegrates

                                                                      place blame,

                                                point fingers

                                                and replace

                                                        all that is faulty with component

                                               that

                                                        get operated only

                                                               by way of strings pulled straight

                                                                                                      from the top.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(822)

 

 

 

“Honesty”

 

 

 

 

 

 

                          -“You are a turn on”-

                                         -“(That’s NOT what I want to hear)”- !!!

 

                          -“But that is what I feel”-

                                         -“(That’s NOT what I want to hear)”-  !!!

 

                          -“But its TRUE !!!”-

                                         -“(That’s NOT what I want to hear)”-  !!!

 

                         -“Then WHAT do you want to hear ?”-

                                          -“anything but that …….

                                                                  I have had to much of that……

                                                                  I like it if I feel the same: But if I don’t….. its

                                                      to heavy a brick

                                                          on the floor

                                                          on the wrong side

                                                                                of

                                                                                my door.”-

 

 

 

                                                                        (      ……………… !!!) (?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(821)

“When hands wash each other”

Thank you

 

                                       I heard a man

                                                      ask a woman

                                                      if she can become his eyes

                                                                                   ( because he is blind,)

*

                                      He asked her to be his eyes

                                                               wile I was sitting

                                                               on a couch

                                                               next to a lady  with her little son .

                                     (We were watching a movie being…..,

                                                                                           being

                                                     projected

                                                     on to a big white wall

                                                                                          about a blind man

                                                                       that asked a woman to be his eyes)…..

***

                                     I knew

                                     without doubt whatsoever

                                     that at times I was seeing what I saw

                                     with the eyes of the lady I was sitting with on the couch.

                                     I was seeing the movie through

                                                                           what

                                                                           her eyes saw, and her way too…..

                                     (like when we were looking  projections of  a waters’s   

                                     surface

                                                                                                        seen   from underneath

                                                                                   (all its shimmering’s of blue light 

                                              reflected in eucalyptus tree bark like shapes back down to us from the top.)

*

                                              I herd her murmur quiet to herself

                                                               in organic empathy to

                                                                                                            that sight………..

                                   and I felt new moisture dew over with new waters my  sands .

*

                                   I felt a rains gentle drizzle

                                   visit  a land  that has been a desert for to long,

                                   abandoned

                                                                     in blindness ,in hurt, isolated from Gods play.

*

                                   I saw her eyes open flowers   for me

                                                                                   along the path,

                                                            another Moses bringing life back with only a touch

                                                                                                                           to my wasteland

                                                                                                    rich in the promise of potential green ….

*

                                   I am sure

                                   that I can be excused

                                   if when asked about the movie from a critics point of view

                                   I can only give a possible overview

                                                                    of implications and story line

                                    as my eyes were taken mostly by her sight

                                    and  my heart too, taken by her…

                                                 and the slight weight of her son, a weight shared

                                                                                                         through the closed heat of  our laps ……

 

(819)

 

 

 

“ How to be kind ?”

 

 

               People

                        that have 3 pack a day ego’s

                        just LOVE to talk

                        about their egos and how they are

                        in the process of  giving it

                                                  ( their egos)  up.

                                 Lets talk about it

                         (they say) as they explain what they are doing

                         to accomplish this extraordinary

                                                      (and humble) feat.

 

                No, I do NOT want to talk

                                        about

                                        your ego my friend…

                I do not care to look in to your toilet when you finish.

                What you flush

                                 and how you flush it

                                 is

                                 your business but that don’t mean that

                                             we cannot talk about matters YOU !

                                            (or me)

                                              or anything else really, as things go …

                                                  But   to talk

                                                  about anything that obsessive

                                                  obsessively goes round

                                         and round

                                         and round the same centre

                                                          is like talking with a drunk

                                        that

               the next day

                                                          wont remember a thing …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(796)

 

“ Changing gears ”

 

                    Your car is a great GREAT car.

                                               It will get you from A to B no problem.

                          It’s got a combustion engine.

                          It will create some pollution but we will not speak of that.

                          It will take you from A to B.

                                                           As long as A to B is were you want to go you

                                                                                         it will

                                                                                         be fine.

                         But what if you want to go to C or Z?

                         Will a combustion engine still be your answer?

 

                         What if you have NEVER been to C

                                     (and do not even know where C is)

                                                 and

                                                do not know

                                                that what lies between B and C

                                                                  IS NOT THE SAME LANDSCAPE

                                                as what you found between A and B ?

 

                         Combustion might NOT be your answer.

                                                                 It might be

                                                                               then

                                                                               that

                                                                               your car is NOT

                                                                                        such a great  GREAT car after all.

 

                         You might need to create new systems.

                                                                  You might need

                                                                                                            to…  INVENT.

 

                          You might need to say that

                                                         yes, that to go from A to B it’s a great GREAT car

                                             but you might have to admit

                                             to go from B to C or Z

                                             something radically different might be needed,

                          and that if you don’t

                          and …   that if

                          you insist

                          on using A to B systems NOBODY will be going then anywhere

                                                                                                                  at all

                                                                                                                  and

                                                                                                                  in fact

                          that great GREAT car of yours might just then be wiped out

                                                              in

                                                                                                                 the process.