These are question asked by Sudha to Osho or Osho simply talking about her.
Maybe passé for Sudha as they happened many years ago but nevertheless a help for new seekers on the path.
One can read the complete discourse from the books mentioned at the end of each quotes.
(A Dialogue with the Lord of Death) Discourses on The Kathopnishad
"Religion is the art of dying consciously. Religion is the science of entering into death in total understanding and awareness. And the person who enters death consciously, for him death disappears forever because by dying consciously he knows that he is not dying at all. Dying consciously, he knows that what is dying is the body - it is not more than when you discard old clothes - but his inner flame of consciousness is burning bright even in death; even the storm is unable to blow it out."
"At the age of fourteen, my family again became disturbed that I would die. I survived, but then I again tried it consciously. I said to them, 'If death is going to occur as the astrologer has said, then it is better to be prepared. And why not give a chance to death? Why should I not go and meet it halfway? If I am going to die, then it is better to die consciously."
Osho :: Glimpses of a Golden Childhood
I am fortunate. When my father died, I was there with him. When Vipassana died, a disciple, a friend and fellow resident of the Commune, I was there with her. And when my mother died, I was there with her. In fact I made her promise that she wouldn't die unless I was there. My father's
death felt like a death. He was fighting. Yet I came away from that experience feeling that death is the cleanest and most honest event that I had ever witnessed. No bargains, no games, no compromises. It just comes.
Vipassana was the first to die in our gathering of disciples, of a brain tumor. It was at this time that Osho gave us his vision of celebrating death. When Vipassana left her body, I could hear her laughter! It was very different from the way my father left this world. Hers did not feel like a death.
When my mother died I was completely identified. The whole dysfunctional quality of our relationship exploded before my eyes. I did not to let here go. I had since childhood felt that I have to take care of her - because this is the message that she gave me - in spite of all the psychological work I had done on myself I tried to die for her. I did not want her to hurt or to fear. It took me several years to process her death. Yet when she left her body here, I could sense that she was perfectly okay. The fight was my own.
As a child I had a fascination about death. I remember staring at the body of my ninety-three year-old aunt, who o loved, and wondering, "What's going on here? Why is she so still? If she's gone, as all the grown-ups are saying, who is that? Where did she go?" In the very back of my child's mind these questions continued to trouble me.
After many twists and turns on my life's journey, I found Osho. I became his disciple. He gave me the name Ma Yoga Sudha, "elixir of union" - the deathless.
The first meditation camp that I attended was led by Osho. The discourses were in Hindi, but occasionally in English to explain a meditation technique. There were about twenty or so Western disciples at the time, and hundreds of Indians. The discourses were on The Kathopnishad, the book you are now holding in your hands. I have had the great fortune to edit the master's words of my first meditation camp. Life never ceases to amaze me.
In India, The Kathopnishad is read to people when they are dying or after they have died. But as Osho says, this is now an empty ritual, not dissimilar to Christian rituals that have long since lost any possibility to transform our lives. These discourses resurrect the true life of The Kathopnishad. As Osho guides us through the mystery of death, it becomes clear that he is speaking from his own experience. He is a master of life.and of death.
The Kathopnishad is a teaching story. Circumstances take a small and very intelligent boy, Nachiketa, to a situation where he is the guest of Yamaraja, the Lord of death. Nachiketa has asked many questions.
And fortunate it is that that Osho is here to answer these questions and penetrate the fog of conditioned fear and ignorance that the word 'death' triggers in each of us. We think it is the end, the darkest eternal chasm; or we console ourselves with fairy stories of heaven and hell and a life thereafter. Either we escape into despair or into illusion. Or we try to ignore the whole thing.
"The fire by which you will attain to immortality is hidden within you. You will find the great joy where there is no sorrow. You will attain to the ultimate freedom, which is liberation - but that fire is hidden in the inner sanctum of your own heart. You have not to go somewhere else to find that fire. You have not to ignite that fire somewhere outside you. It is always burning within you and you are the owner of it. You are immortal - but you don't know it, you are not aware of it."
When Osho left his body in 1990, it was his greatest gift. I was there. Seeing that my immediate reaction of pain was an old habit, pain left me alone. I did not want this moment to find me indulging in old habits. It became purely a matter of fact. I no longer knew if what was happening was good or bad.
As I watched the body of my beloved master go up in the smoke of his funeral pyre, I heard him say. "Love is the only experience which transcends death." Ah, so this is what it means that the buddha leaves no footprints.
You are fortunate to have found this book. May it bring you light and transform your life.
Ma Yoga Sudha
The first question:
UNIMAGINED ECSTASY, UNIMAGINED PAIN.
Yoga Sudha, it is natural.
Ecstasy and great pain happen together, because it is a new birth: the joy of being born, the joy of entering into the unknown, the great adventure into God. But pain is also there, great pain: the pain of leaving the old, the familiar, the known; the pain of leaving the secure, the safe; the pain of dying -- dying as the ego. If the ecstasy is true, it is bound to happen that there will be great pain. This is one of the criteria by which to judge whether the ecstasy is true or not.
It is like uprooting a tree from its known soil and transplanting it into a new climate, into a new country. The tree will have to learn to live again from ABC; it is hard to unlearn and it is hard to learn again. There is bound to be pain. Great pain and agony precede great ecstasy. It can continue for months, for years too -- it all depends on you.
Now, don't look back. That which is gone is gone, and gone forever, never to return again. Whatsoever you do, you cannot bring it back. The child cannot enter into the womb again, howsoever pleasant it was, comfortable, convenient, secure, safe. The child may have great nostalgia for the womb, for those beautiful, eternal nine months. Yes, I say eternal, because the child feels them as eternity, not as nine months. He has no idea of calculating time -- those long long nine months of such warmth, of such protection, of such unworried existence, of such tremendous rest and relaxation. The nostalgia hangs around. The child would like to go back to the womb, but it is not possible.
Going back is not possible at all; it is not in the nature of things. One always has to go forward. And when you look forward everything is so unfamiliar that great fear arises. One never knows where one is. One loses one's identity, one passes through a great crisis of identity. The known is no longer there to cling to, and the unknown seems to be ungraspable.
But don't look back; that which can't happen can't happen. Look forward! And don't interpret the new and the unknown as unsafe. Interpret it in terms of adventure, exploration. Interpret it as great freedom. Buddha talks again and again about freedom. It is freedom from the past, freedom from the mother, freedom from the parents, freedom from the society, freedom from the church, the state.
What I am giving to you is absolute freedom. Yes, fear can arise, but fear arises because of your interpretation. Deep down somewhere in the unconscious you still would like to go back, to close your eyes to the new sunrise. You would like to go back even though there was nothing very valuable, nothing significant, but at least one was safe. The territory was familiar; one lived surrounded by walls. We call it a prison, but you used to call it your home; and I have taken you out of your home because it was not your real home, it was only make-believe. This freedom, this ecstasy that is arising, is your real home. Now, if you cling to the past, which is no longer possible, and you don't allow the future to happen smoothly, the pain can continue, the agony can continue, for months, for years. And you will be split: a part of you clinging to the no-more and a part of you longing for the not-yet. Now be courageous. Take the quantum leap! Just as the snake slips out of the old skin, slip out of the old. It has fulfilled its function, it has brought you to the new. Gratefully say goodbye to it and plunge into this exploration that is becoming valuable to you. Plunge into this insecurity, into this danger, because life is where insecurity is; life is where danger is. There is no way to live totally unless you learn to live dangerously -- more danger, more aliveness; less danger, less aliveness.
And I am making peaks upon peaks available to you. This is an unending chain. You will reach one peak thinking that this is the end and now you can rest, but by the time you have rested a little bit you will become aware of a higher peak challenging you, calling you forth. A new pilgrimage starts. And this goes on and on. Life is an eternal pilgrimage. There is no goal to it, it is a pure journey. Hence the joy of it. If there was a goal to it, that would mean a full stop to your life. Then what are you going to do? After the full stop there is nothing, nothing more. Life knows nothing of full stops. Life is a continuum, a song that never ends, a story that goes on unfolding. Each moment something new is ready to happen if you are available. Your observation is true. You say, "Unimagined ecstasy, unimagined pain."
That's how it has always been. I don't talk much about the pain, because that will make you so afraid that you will not take the jump. I talk about ecstasy to persuade you, to seduce you into taking the jump. Once you have taken the jump you will know that there is great pain too, but that pain is a blessing in disguise. That pain is the pain the gold passes through when it goes through the fire: it purifies, it makes you more and more integrated, it gives you centering, it creates a soul in you. Without this pain there is no soul, and without this pain no ecstasy is possible. You would like to bypass the pain and reach the ecstasy, but that cannot be done.
AES DHAMMO SANANTANO: this is the law and the law has to be followed; you can't go against the law. But once you have known the ecstasy, it is worth going through all the pain. You can sacrifice everything for the ecstasy, because ecstasy is another name for God approaching closer to you. Your melting into God is what ecstasy is all about.
The word 'ecstasy' is beautiful; it simply means "standing out." Out of what? Standing out of your ego, your personality, your mind; getting out of the whole structure in which you have lived -- not only lived but with which you have become identified. Standing out of all this, just a pure witness, a watcher on the hills -- and everything is left deep down in the valley.
Drop the nostalgia. Drop this dreaming about the valley. You have lived in the valley long enough, and what have you gained? For many many lives you have lived in the valley, in all those chains, thinking that they were ornaments. Maybe they were made of silver and gold, maybe they were studded with diamonds and emeralds; but whether a chain is made of iron or gold, it makes no difference. In fact, a golden chain is far more difficult to break because you become more attached to it.
You have lived in the valley so long, for so many lives -- now try to live on the peaks. And be totally with the peaks. Forget all about the valleys, because that will be a disturbance. That disturbance is creating pain. You are looking back again and again: there is still some desire, some longing, some hope that you may get back to your old structures again.
But let me make it absolutely clear to you: there is no going back. Now you have crossed that point from where a person can still go back, so it is an exercise in futility to feel pain for something which is no more. But it will keep you occupied and you will miss the joys of the peak, the fresh air of the peak, the unpolluted atmosphere of the peak, the closeness of the sun and the clouds. Now is the time to whisper with the clouds and with the sun and the stars! It is a beautiful moment.
Decide in favor of ecstasy, and whatever pain happens through that decision, accept it with joy, with thankfulness. The more gratefully you accept it as part of growth, the sooner it will disappear -- and it will not leave even a trace on you; you will be unscratched by it. If you cling to it too long, it will leave wounds. Even if they heal, the marks will remain.
In these moments, when one passes from one stage of being to another stage of being, one is very vulnerable. In these moments one is very soft, impressionable. Don't give much attention to pain.
And that's what you have been doing for a few months. I have been watching silently. Many times I have to be just a silent watcher, because I hate to interfere. Even though I know you are in need, still I respect your freedom so much that, unless you ask, I will keep quiet, I will not say a word. I will feel great compassion for you -- I am perfectly aware of your tears and the anguish that you are passing through -- but I have been keeping myself aloof deliberately, because this is the only way to give the disciple a chance to grow.
If I go on interfering at every stage, helping, supporting, you will start depending on me too much. Then you will never be able to walk on your own feet; you will always need crutches. And I don't want to give you crutches, I don't want you to be dependent on me. The only gift that I can give to you is that of total freedom, of independence.
Hence I have been silent, waiting for the day when you would ask the question. Today you have asked the question. Now I can speak, I can share my understanding with you, but still the decision always remains with you. You can go on crying and weeping over spilled milk, or you can gather yourself and take a plunge into the new world that I have made available to you.
Don't waste time. Time is really precious, far more precious than money, far more precious than anything in the world, because it is through time that you can contact eternity. And these moments are rare: if you miss them once, you never know when they will come back again. Maybe after lives you will come across a buddha again... and there is every possibility you will repeat the same mistakes, because mind wants to repeat. Mind is repetition -- even after lives it repeats the same mistakes.
It happened once: a young prince asked Buddha to initiate him as a BHIKKHU, as a sannyasin. Buddha was a little reluctant. This was very rare -- buddhas are never reluctant, or very rarely; they are always happy if somebody is asking for initiation. Ananda, Buddha's chief disciple, immediately became aware that Buddha was a little hesitant. He said, "Bhagwan, why are you hesitating? I have never seen you hesitate. You persuade people, you help people, you do everything possible to bring them to the way -- and this man himself is asking! And not an ordinary man -- a great prince, with great potential. If he becomes a disciple, many more will follow. Why are you hesitating?" Buddha said to Ananda, "Because this young man has been initiated in the past by other buddhas at least seven times, and he has committed the same mistake again and again. And mind is repetitive. I know I can give him initiation, but he is bound to repeat the same mistake. But if you say so, I will initiate him. Now watch what happens."
The young man was initiated... and of course this whole dialogue with Ananda had happened in front of him, so he was very conscious not to repeat anything. But he did not remember anything of his past lives, and when you don't remember, how can you avoid repetition? If you remember, you can avoid. He asked Buddha many times, "Please tell me, what is my mistake that I have been repeating again and again? And you say I have lived with seven other buddhas? I don't want to miss this opportunity." Buddha said, "That won't help very much, because you have asked the sixth buddha the same question and the fifth also, and they answered. I am not going to do it. I will tell you only when the time arrives."
And the time arrived within a few days. They traveled to another city; they were staying in a small caravanserai -- ten thousand sannyasins -- there was no space. It must have been as overcrowded as it is here! Now when I look at you, I completely forget whether you are sannyasins or sardines. I have to go on reminding myself, "No, these are my sannyasins." The older sannyasins of Buddha were given a little better space, a little more space -- they were old, senior. This young man was the latest addition to the Buddha's SANGHA -- his order; he got the place at the outermost circumference, just in the porch where people used to put their shoes. He had to sleep there. A prince, sleeping in a porch where people keep their shoes? He was very hurt. In the night he could not sleep, for the same reasons that you suffer -- mosquitoes! They are the ancientmost enemies of meditators. If you are not meditating they will not take any notice of you; once you start meditating, they suddenly become interested in you. The blood of a meditator has a certain sweetness. And there were mosquitoes and he was unable to sleep; and the serai was so overcrowded, and people were coming and going the whole night -- somebody was coming, somebody was leaving. How can you sleep in a porch? In the middle of the night he said, "This is stupid, this is just nonsense! I have not become a sannyasin for all this. I had a beautiful palace, every facility. Tomorrow morning I will say goodbye to Buddha." In fact he wanted to leave at that very moment, but that would not be right. At least he had to say to Buddha, "I am finished." But before morning, Buddha came to him and said, "Now the time has come. I can answer your question. This has happened to you again and again: you have been initiated seven times, but just for small things you always became so much disturbed that you went away. You can go -- this is your old habit. Because of this habit I was hesitant."
He had brought Ananda with him and he said, "Look! What do you say now? This man wants to leave tomorrow morning." The young man had not said a single word. He fell at Buddha's feet. He said, "How did you come to know in the middle of the night?" Buddha said, "That is not your business. That's what makes me a master. In the morning you want to go; you can go, but go with this awareness: that this is how you have been losing the track again and again."
The young man never left. It was difficult -- Buddha gave him many many uncomfortable situations -- but he was a man of integrity; he belonged to a very famous family, ancient, noble; he belonged to the warrior race. It was against his whole upbringing to leave the Buddha. And now that Buddha had told him what the cause had been in the past... and as meditation deepened he started remembering his past associations with other buddhas. Slowly slowly he became aware that yes, for small things he had left buddhas; for such small things he had lost the way many times.
Yes, Sudha, the pain is there, and it is not only for you; others will also pass through the pain. Many have passed through it, many will have to pass through it. Pass through it joyously. Keep your eye on the ecstasy. Don't focus yourself on the pain -- that is the wrong approach. Focus yourself on the ecstasy, and think that the pain is the price we pay for the ecstasy. Soon the pain will disappear. And the energy released from the pain will bring you to even higher realms of ecstasy, will bring you to greater altitudes of ecstasy. Be watchful....
Osho The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol 6 Chapter #6
Chapter title: No going back
26 October 1979 am in Buddha Hall
"Those who have known. we have heard it from them." He does not bring himself in at all.
Just the other day I have received a letter from Sudha.
Few days before she wrote a letter that, "Osho, I am in a great conflict: I cannot leave you, I cannot live without you, and yet when I am in the commune I don't feel absolutely sur-rendered to you. That makes me feel sad. I want to be abso-lutely surrendered, to drop all my mind and all my ego. That I cannot do, and because I could not do it you have sent me to the West. But I cannot live in the West either! I hanker for your presence, I want to be back home as soon as possible." She talked this with one of our sannyasins, Gunakar, who runs a beautiful center in Germany, Karuna. She talked to him on the phone and Gunakar wrote her a letter that, "You come to me and I will help you to get rid of Osho, I will help you to go beyond this attachment." Now he runs a center for me -- helping people to get rid of me! He was here. Twice he tried to become enlightened and failed! He will declare he has become enlightened and then he will come to his senses again. Now running a center he is imitating; now he is trying to help people to get beyond the attachment. Sudha has done a good job of writing a letter to him that, "I don't want to get rid, I want to get rid of MYSELF, not Osho! And I don't need your help. First you help yourself Physician, heal thyself first!" But Gunakar is getting into stupid ideas... just few days before he wrote a letter to all the members of UNO that, "I represent Osho, I represent the hierarchy of the esoteric Masters, and I want you to do these things. Unless these things are done, the world is not going to be saved." Now he is trying to save the world -- he has not even been able to save himself! But these egoistic ideas are bound to happen because deep down the ego has lived for so long that it does not want to leave you. Even when you think you have dropped it, it simply hides somewhere, in some dark corner of your unconsciousness, and it starts functioning from there. This is the true way of a disciple to say:
THIS WE HAVE HEARD FROM THE ENLIGHTENED ONES.
MEDITATION AND ACTION --
HE WHO KNOWS THESE TWO TOGETHER,
THROUGH ACTION LEAVES DEATH BEHIND
AND THROUGH MEDITATION GAINS IMMORTALITY.
Words which should be written in gold, far more precious than any diamonds can ever be. This is my whole approach:
MEDITATION AND ACTION --
HE WHO KNOWS THESE TWO TOGETHER...
Osho: I Am That Chapter #9
Chapter title: Both and More
19 October 1980 am in Buddha Hall
A famous Sufi saying is: He who knows others is learned -- he who knows himself is wise. To be learned is easy; to be wise takes guts, courage. Why? Why in the world does one need to be courageous to know oneself? There are reasons. The first reason is: there is a fear that if you go in, you may not find anybody there... and in a way that fear IS right. You are not going to find anybody there. That apprehension is right. If Naresh goes in, he will not find Naresh there. If Astha goes in, she will not find Astha there. If Sudha goes, she will not find Sudha there. If Viyogi goes, Viyogi will not find Viyogi there. Something is to be found there, but that is indefinable, unname-able. And that something is not your possession: that something is as much yours as everybody else's. You will find something, but that will be the universal center -- you will not find any individual there, you will not find any ego there. Hence the fear. You will disappear: in self-knowledge you are going to disappear utterly. Hence people talk about it, ask about it, read books about it, but never go in. An unconscious fear prevents their path. And the modern man particularly is even more afraid. Modern man is often driven to despair because he is afraid that the self does not exist at all, or that the self is a *Capekan machine, Skinnerian robot, a Kafkan cockroach, an Ionescoan rhinoceros, or a Sartrean useless passion. All these fears have exploded on the modern mind. Who knows? When you go in, you may find the Kafkan cockroach. There is a parable of Kafka:
Osho: The Perfect Master, Vol 2 Chapter #1 Chapter title: Once Upon a Time 1 July 1978 am in Buddha Hall
SOMETIMES, SITTING WITH YOU IS PURE DELIGHT. MY WHOLE BODY IS FLOODED WITH A STRANGE AND LOVELY FEELING, LIKE A SILENT ORGASM THAT HAS NO TOP OR BOTTOM. BUT MORE OFTEN I FEEL SO BUSY WITH MY ACHES AND PAINS AND THOUGHTS THAT I CAN'T BE HERE, I CAN'T SEEM TO RELAX INTO MYSELF, OR LET ANYTHING BE. THEN I GET REALLY WORRIED THAT THERE IS SOME UNCONSCIOUS RESISTANCE. CAN YOU TELL ME IF I'M FIGHTING OR WHAT? AND IF I AM FIGHTING, WHAT FOR?
Yoga Sudha, what is happening "sometimes" will start happening more and more. Your emphasis, your attention should be on what is happening, not on what is not happening. You have to understand a fundamental law: attention is nourishment.
Your question is: "Sometimes, sitting with you is pure delight." Why sometimes? -- if it can be even once a delight to sit with me, then pour your whole attention into what is happening that is making you so delight-full, so peaceful, so relaxed. Once in a while you will find that the mind is "so busy with my aches and pains and thoughts that I can't be here." Old habits, long friendships, drop slowly. These aches and pains and thoughts are your old habit. It is a miracle that sometimes you come out of your old structure, out in the open sky. Just pay more attention to these moments, nourish them, relish them. And when it does not happen, don't be worried. Just remember one thing, that it is an old habit -- but don't give it any attention, don't be bothered. It is absolutely human. For centuries, for many lives we have not known anything other than misery, pain, agony. Naturally they have gone deep into our unconscious. There is no fight at all that is happening within you; it is just that an old habit takes possession of you. You should remember, "It is just a habit and I am not to be concerned with it, not to be bothered with it." Let it be there and soon those old habits will start falling like dead leaves from the trees. In fact, there seems to be no problem; it is just that you are not aware of your habits, unconscious accumulations. It is good that they are coming up, because that is the only way to get rid of them. Don't repress them, otherwise they will go on coming up. And don't give them attention, otherwise you are giving nourishment to things that should be starved and allowed to die.
Your whole focus should be on those beautiful moments that happen to you, those orgasmic spaces. Fill them with all your energy, and slowly, slowly it is an absolute inevitability that that which is blissful is going to win over the suffering. That which is ecstatic is going to win over the agony -- unless you decide to pay more attention to the agony and take the ecstasy just for granted. Then there will be trouble.
So the only thing to remember is to pour your attention and love, and rejoice and feel grateful for those moments which give you orgasmic blissfulness. The others are not to be even talked about. Let them come... it is good that they are surfacing. Now there are three things you can do: either you can repress them -- then you will not get rid of them, they will come again -- or you can give nourishment to them; that will make them stronger and your orgasmic moments will become shorter, less. The third thing is, don't repress them and don't give any attention to them. Just accept them. It is your past, it is dead, it will go away by itself. Don't even fight with them, because fight is another name for suppression, and fight is also giving attention to them.
Sandy MacTavish, a young Scotsman, went down to London for a holiday. When he returned, his friend Hamish asked how it was. "Alright," said Sandy, "but they are funny folk down there."
"Why is that?" asked Hamish.
"Well," said Sandy, "one night, very late, it must have been about two in the morning, a man came banging on the door. He screamed and shouted and was in a really nasty temper -- at two o'clock, man."
"And what did you do?" asked Hamish.
"I did not do anything," said Sandy, "I just went on quietly playing on my bagpipes."
Just a little awareness, and all problems can be solved so easily!
Osho: Satyam Shivam Sundram
Chapter #15 Chapter title: Choose the flowers, leave the thorns
14 November 1987 am in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
THE ANIMUS LOVES LIFE. THE ANIMA SEEKS DEATH. ALL SENSUOUS DESIRES AND IMPULSES OF ANGER ARE EFFECTS OF THE ANIMA. BUT THE PUPIL UNDERSTANDS HOW TO DISTIL THE DARK ANIMA COMPLETELY SO THAT IT TRANSFORMS ITSELF INTO PURE LIGHT.
But the alchemy consists in understanding these two principles in each of you, man or woman; and in transforming the anima, the dark part in you, into the light part; in helping the dark part to move, in helping the dark part help the light part and not to fight with it. If your anima can help your animus that is real marriage, the inner marriage. Then you start becoming integrated, then your light is no more shallow, it has the depth of darkness. And your darkness is no more dark, it has the light of lightness. Then anima and animus melt into each other. And when they melt utterly, the world has disappeared, you are again one. And to be one is to know God. To remain two is to remain in the world. And the secret, the experiment, has to happen within you, it has nothing to do with the outside world.
Inside you these two principles are constantly in fight. Call them life/death, darkness/light, man/woman, x/z -- whatsoever you will -- but these two principles are there, continuously in fight. And that is your anguish, your misery, your hell. Let them become friends. Let your energy circulate in them, not against each other, let them come closer to each other. Let there be an inner orgasm, an inner intercourse between the woman and the man. That's what in Tantra is called YUGA-NADDHA, the meeting of the man and woman within you. That is real Tantra. The meeting of the man and woman on the outside is just an introduction.
Sudha leads the Tantra Group. That is just an introduction. The real Tantra has yet to begin. She is just preparing you. The real Tantra Group will soon start when I see that now you are ready to go in and meet THERE with your inner woman and inner man. When I see your outer interest is no longer so strong as to keep you out, is no longer so binding on you -- the chain is broken -- then the real Tantra Group will start. I am waiting for the new commune to happen, because the new Tantra Group will need a totally different kind of climate, a totally different kind of atmosphere. This is the greatest experiment that a man can go through. And this experiment releases in you cosmic ecstasy, total orgasm.
Osho: The Secret of Secrets, Vol 1
Chapter #5 Chapter title: To be One Again
15 August 1978 am in Buddha Hall
THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT YOUR COOL LOVE. I'VE WANTED SOMETHING FROM YOU WHICH IS UGLY, AND NOT IN YOU TO GIVE. BUT IT IS WHAT I HAVE KNOWN -- THE ATTACHMENT AND POSSESSIVENESS OF HOT LOVE. I HAVE WANTED AND WANTED FOR SO MANY YEARS FOR YOU TO LOVE ME MY WAY. I HOPE I AM READY TO LEARN TO LOVE YOUR WAY. OSHO, I FEEL SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU. CAN YOU FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SUCH A RELENTLESS BEGGAR?
Sudha, one thing -- in fact, you will have to forgive me. I cannot forgive, for the simple reason that I have never been angry, I have never taken any offence. For what can I forgive you? I can only rejoice in your understanding. This has been your problem -- like many other people, you love me and naturally you would like a response from me. Your conception of love is very small. I cannot manage to love in such a small way. That does not mean I don't love you, that simply means you are not receptive and open and available to me so that I need not come down, rather I can take you upwards. Love can do both miracles. It can bring you down -- and in all the ancient literature of all religions, love has been portrayed as bringing people's consciousness downwards. Nobody has explored the psychology behind all those stories and parables, but it is a tremendously rewarding experience to look into the psychology of them.
For example, in the East there are hundreds of stories that whenever somebody is coming close to enlightenment... In Indian mythology the god Indra -- who is the highest god in heaven -- becomes troubled, because if somebody becomes enlightened there is a possibility that he may be chosen by existence to be Indra, and Indra may be demoted. There should not be any enlightenment anywhere; that is a protection of his power. Otherwise there will be a competitor who may be far superior.
So whenever somebody is coming close to enlightenment, immediately Indra sends beautiful girls from heaven to drag that man down from enlightenment. Just a step or two and he would have been enlightened, but the beautiful girls, called UPSARAS... they are not just women. They are always young, they never grow old. They don't perspire, they don't need deodorant. They are always fragrant. And naturally, a man who has been avoiding the world, escaping deeper into the Himalayas, who has been repressing all his natural instincts -- particularly sex -- is sitting almost on a volcano, the sexual energy can explode. It is the same energy that was taking him to enlightenment. Enlightenment is also an explosion, but creative. It gives you a new birth. But these beautiful girls are sent to provoke the person sexually, dance sexual dances around him, create a whole pornographic atmosphere. In most cases the man falls down, thinking it is love, and love sent from heaven! But those women have come simply to destroy his meditation, to create lust in him, and once that work is done they disappear. Only when they disappear does the person become aware that he was reaching to the climax of consciousness and now he is standing in total darkness.
In all the languages of the world, strangely enough, people use the phrase "falling in love." Without any exception, in all the languages people say "I have fallen in love." But why should you fall? Why can't you rise in love? Love up to now has been the condemned part of humanity. To me, love is the only divine quality in you. All other qualities are part and parcel of your godliness, but love is the center. You love me. I can accept your love. But you will receive my love only by rising a little higher towards enlightenment in your consciousness. It is just the opposite from the whole of history. I want you to say one day, "I have risen in love." Love should bring more light to you, more understanding, more maturity, more freedom, more creativity. Sudha, you need not be sad about your past. You may have desired the same kind of love; it is natural. You know only one kind of love and you can desire only that love.
My whole life is devoted to you, to making you aware of a higher love -- a love which replaces God, a love beyond which nothing exists. But to understand my love you will have to climb higher in consciousness.
You will start feeling me only when you are close to enlightenment.
It will be the same moment as when the god Indra becomes troubled: you will feel my love.
And if you become enlightened you will see all the psychedelic colors of love.
Only the enlightened person knows the very spirit of love.
So it is not your fault but just your laziness in becoming enlightened!
It is only man who makes love all year round, and it is only man who thinks that this love is all. This love is not all; otherwise the whole world would have been a beautiful place to live. This world is created by your love, your relationships -- and you have virtually created a better hell than the one described in the scriptures! And everybody is loving -- the father is loving, the mother is loving, the husband is loving, the wife is loving, the children are loving, the teachers are loving. Everybody is loving and the total result is always a world war. This is a strange kind of logic. Everybody loving, and then finally... where does the war come from? Our love is of the very lowest kind, it is animal love. This love is not going to help you. This love can only be part of your biological slavery. And you have accepted it, you have not even raised the question that it is slavery.
When you come to me and you love me, your love has shadows on it of your past experiences. I cannot meet you on that wavelength. That does not mean that I don't love you. I love you, but it just goes on above your heads. I try hard to hit your head at least, but it goes on above your heads.
If this understanding settles in you, Sudha,
that you should try to raise your consciousness higher, then forget all about my love.
One day suddenly you will be showered by it. You have been showered by it always.
But your umbrella is open, so close your umbrella!
Osho: Sermons in Stones
Chapter #15 Chapter title: Cancel your ticket, there's nowhere to go!
14 December 1986 pm in
CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT RECOGNITION? WHY DO WE TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED? WHY WILL WE, YOUR DISCIPLES, NOT RECOGNIZE YOU UNTIL YOUR CRUCIFIXION? WHEN YOU SAID THAT, IT WAS LIKE A SWORD THROUGH ME.
Sudha, the recognition of a master depends on your becoming more conscious, more aware, more alert.
Coming out of your sleep, coming out of your dreams and thoughts, in an absolutely silent mind, the recognition happens -- because the master is silence.
The master is awareness.
The master is love.
The master is not a person but a presence.
The person died the day enlightenment happened.
After enlightenment, there is no person as such but only a presence, a light. You can recognize it only if you have some of the qualities: love, awareness, compassion, consciousness -- just a small window. Not that you have to be perfectly awakened -- then, certainly you will recognize, but then recognition is of no use. Recognition is of use when you are on the path moving towards the unknown, not knowing exactly whether there is something ahead of you or you just have fallen victim to some fallacious philosophy. The recognition of the master will help you in spite of your doubts, in spite of your uncertainties, in spite of your ups and downs. The recognition of the master will keep you on the path because you know -- it happens, and if it can happen to somebody else, there is no reason why it cannot happen to you. Every human being has an equal possibility of becoming enlightened. That is true communism. Only enlightened people can be really communist. The unenlightened is always thinking himself superior to somebody, inferior to somebody.
He is always struggling to go forward, to be the first in the race, to reach the highest glory on this earth of money, of power, of prestige.
But if you are not aware and alert, if you have not yet experienced the love that is no longer part of biology, then there is only one way you can recognize the master and that is when he is crucified. His crucifixion is bound to wake you up, at least for a moment. And in that very moment will be the recognition -- and a tremendous feeling of loss, because when the master was alive, you remained asleep. Now the master is no more, and because of his death... the shock is so much that it awakens you for a moment. But even that single moment is like when lightening suddenly happens on a dark night, and you see the whole scene. I know it hurts to think that the master you have loved can be crucified. But remember one thing which has not been discussed in the past two thousand years; even Christians have not discussed it, although their master was crucified. Neither in the Greek tradition after Socrates have his disciples ever conceived of what I am going to tell you: The crucifixion of Jesus was not only the responsibility of the Jews. The real responsibility for his crucifixion was his disciples'. It was very easy not to be caught by the Jews. Judea was such a small country; you could get out of Judea any moment. And Jews were not free people -- they were in slavery under the Romans. They could not do anything directly. They had to persuade the Roman emperor, the Roman viceroy, and it was known almost all over Judea that if Jesus should go to Jerusalem for the Jewish holidays when people go on a holy pilgrimage, he would be crucified. It was common knowledge. And there was no need for Jesus to go. Jews were not listening to him -- what was the need? Jews were gathering and the rumor was that they would try to crucify him, they would put as much pressure as possible on the viceroy, Pontius Pilate. But if he is not there, nothing can be done. He insisted on going there.
And I suspect that George Gurdjieff is right -- that Judas simply performed the function of a devoted disciple; he was not the enemy of Jesus and he did not betray. It was Jesus himself who sent Judas to inform the enemies where he was. It must have been very difficult for Judas, but to follow the master, he went against himself. And Jesus was caught because of the information given by Judas. And I say that he must have done it against himself because as Jesus was crucified, suddenly he became aware of what he had done. Death is not a small matter. He had killed the man he loved, he had killed the man he worshipped. He was feeling so much repentance that within twenty-four hours he committed suicide.
Christians don't talk about why Judas committed suicide, why Jesus insisted against the will of his disciples to go on that ugly night to Jerusalem.
As far as I am concerned, my feeling is that his disciples were fast asleep -- and Jesus had tried everything to wake them up and they would not wake up. Hence, he had chosen the last resort of a master.
Perhaps his life cannot help.
There is no harm in taking the chance -- maybe what life has not been able to do and perform, death succeeds in doing.
And it succeeded -- the shock not only made an impact on the disciples but on sympathizers, on curiosity mongers, on people who were absolutely neutral, on people who had never thought about Jesus Christ. The crucifixion made everyone give a thought to this strange young man. Where do you think so many Christians have come from? Their basic number has come from the Jews.
While Jesus was alive, not even a single rabbi -- and Jerusalem was full of learned rabbis; it had the Jewish university, all the scholars were there -- not a single scholar, not a single rabbi recognized him. Not a single man of reputation... because everybody was afraid. Just to be associated with Jesus' name could be dangerous to you. But when he was crucified -- and crucified in such a primitive and ugly way that it shocked the whole nation -- even those who were in opposition felt that what had happened was not right. Because the man was innocent.
He may have been saying outrageous things but he had not done anything against any law, against any morality. And to reward him with crucifixion simply condemned the whole Judaic religion and tradition. Thousands of Jews who had never paid any attention to Jesus became Christians, and the basic number came from Judea. Perhaps the strategy of crucifixion worked. And for a man like Jesus, life and death don't matter. What matters is that he has found something and he wants to share it -- but it is so difficult to find somebody willing to share life's greatest blessings and benedictions. Sudha, it hurts but I have to tell you the truth. And you have to understand: It is not being told to somebody else, it is being told to you, to each person individually.
If you are not awake, then perhaps it is worth my being crucified. If that helps you to be more conscious, to be more loving, to be more alert, to be more integrated....
My life and my death are both for you.
For a single purpose, I go on continuing breathing. I hope... it is time that man should become more conscious on a worldwide scale, because except for that, nothing can save humanity from the destruction of the third world war that is looming darker and darker every day on the horizon.
Sermons in Stones
Chapter #16 Chapter title: Recognizing the Master
15 December 1986 pm in Buddha Hall
The first question:
PLEASE HELP ME TO BE HAPPY, TO BE ORDINARY.
I FIND THAT ALL MY UPSETS, CONFLICTS, TURMOILS, HAVE TO DO WITH THIS DESIRE TO BE SPECIAL AND NOTHING ELSE.
SUDHA, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HELP
because you are not ordinary -- nobody is, nobody can be. Everybody is unique and extraordinary.
The problem arises when you start trying to be that which you already are, then you fail.
If you were ordinary, there would be no difficulty in attaining to extraordinariness; there would be every possibility.
But the fish is in the ocean and is trying to be in the ocean; failure is absolute -- it is doomed.
How can you be ordinary? This whole existence is extraordinary. Each pebble on the shore is extraordinary, each grass leaf is extraordinary.
And I am not only talking about lotuses and roses -- of course, they too are extraordinary -- but an ordinary grass flower is not ordinary.
All that exists is divine, how can it be ordinary?
Don't try to be ordinary; otherwise, you will go on failing and you will create misery for yourself. Even I cannot help, even I cannot go against the Tao, against the fundamental law of life. God only creates the extraordinary; this whole existence is special. These raindrops, this morning, the people around you this moment is extraordinary; it can't be repeated again, no, never -- not even in the whole of eternity can it be repeated again. You will never find these raindrops falling again, this sound, this morning, these people. This whole situation is extraordinary; it only happens once. You will not find another Sudha all around the world. You can go on searching, and not only in the present time, but even in the past or in the future, and no Sudha will ever be repeated. This is how we are. Once you start trying to be extraordinary you will get into difficulty. To accept yourself as you are, and to accept the whole as it is -- if you can understand the extraordinariness of everything that is -- you have become ordinary. Sudha, it is not that you want to be extraordinary, you want to be special COMPARED WITH other people. That too is absurdity -- no comparison is possible. How can you be compared with anybody? -- nobody is like you. You don't compare a dog with a parrot, or do you? There is no similarity, there is no likeness, how can you compare a dog with a parrot? or a tree with a man? or a rock with a river? In fact, no two individuals are alike, hence they are incomparable. You are you, and the other is other.
To understand this is to be both extraordinary and ordinary. Extraordinary in the sense that existence only creates unique people, and ordinary in the sense that everybody is extraordinary. There is nothing extraordinary in being extraordinary; everybody is so. The comparison disappears; and when there is no comparison, there is no possibility of the ego.
You ask me: PLEASE HELP ME TO BE HAPPY...
I can only help you to be not miserable, I cannot help you to be happy. But if you are not miserable, you will be happy. But no direct way is possible to make you happy. If it were possible, I would have made you happy long before now. I am not a miser, I would have given it to you if it were possible to give at all -- but there is no possibility.
Happiness is not something that is going to happen to you from the outside. Once you stop being miserable, happiness is, happiness wells up within your being. It simply arises out of you; you start blooming -- the hindrances have been removed. And this seems to be your greatest obstacle: you want to be extraordinary. I declare it, Sudha, you are. But remember, everybody else is too. So now there is no need to be worried, I certify you; you need not prove it. Let this obstacle disappear. Accept your extraordinariness, rejoice in it, celebrate it. Walt Whitman says 'I celebrate myself, I sing myself...' Celebrate and sing. You are extraordinary, God has not made another person like you, will never make another person like you. It is only once that God exists as you, in you, in this form. This form is unrepeatable. Now, what is lacking? All your misery is arising because you are trying to become it. It is your being; becoming is irrelevant. And then suddenly you will see... If you can see the point... Don't think about it, Sudha, just see the point -- it is so crystal clear -- and a great burden from your chest will disappear. So you are extraordinary! You will take a deep breath, you will relax, and suddenly there is happiness. Happiness is not something that we have to produce or do anything for; it is natural, it is spontaneous. I can help you not to be in misery. Misery is your creation, happiness is God's creation. Misery is the gift that you have given to yourself, happiness is the gift that God has given to you. But you cling to misery, and when you cling, you feed it by your clinging. Drop it. Start dancing and singing and celebrating. End it right now. And don't say 'Tomorrow', because tomorrow never comes. And don't say 'I will think it over'; either you have understood or you have missed. Thinking is not going to help. It is a simple fact. Let me repeat it again: everybody is extraordinary, so nobody needs to try. Don't suffer with this unnecessary inferiority. And if you suffer from it, you can go on suffering for ages; you can go on creating, and you can go on finding new ways and means. Somebody has a longer nose than you -- you are inferior. Somebody has blond hair -- you are inferior. Somebody has those beautiful eyes -- and you are inferior. Somebody is more intelligent -- and you are inferior. Somebody is a little taller -- and you are inferior.If you go on looking and searching for misery, it is available; you can find it in every person that passes by, you will find something or other is missing in you. But this is your way of looking at things that creates misery. Forget everybody, just look into the gifts that God has given to you, and gratitude arises. In fact, there is no reason, no RAISON D'ETRE for this existence to be, no reason for this rain this morning, for this melody, this beautiful song, that the clouds are singing around you. If it were not there we could not have complained. If it were not there, we could not have asked that it should be. It is simply there without our asking. It is there. We have not even knocked at the door, and the door is open. And millions of gifts are showering on you; just look at those gifts, and you will be surprised. You will be surprised at how you have been missing them. Just the joy of breathing is enough tO be grateful for, just the joy of meeting a friend is enough to be grateful for, just the joy of sitting silently doing nothing... The joy of a morning or an evening, the joy of night... Just go on looking for the joyous, and you will find it. You only find that which you look for.
You have been looking for misery; now, you can create misery. Today it is raining and tomorrow it will not be raining, then tomorrow you can be miserable -- 'Why is it not raining today ?' And when it is raining you are not grateful. Start feeling grateful. Happiness comes closer and closer the more and more you become grateful. Gratitude functions like a magnetism; the complaining mind repels happiness -- it closes doors. It all depends on you. I can show you the way, but you will have to walk on it. Buddha has said 'Buddhas can only point the way; they cannot walk for you.' You will have to walk. I am showing you the way, but you have become very clever, efficient, in creating misery for yourself. Change the direction of your energies; channelize them toward the joy, the beauty... this cuckoo calling from far away. And, slowly slowly, you will see that so many things were there but you were not seeing them. Your eyes were full of misery hence you were missing them. Your eyes were clouded, they were hazy, foggy, that's why you were missing.
And one can miss by a small margin; one can miss by only a small thought. A small thought can become a barrier and you can miss the whole beauty of the vast Himalayas. You can be there, watching the beautiful peaks of the Himalayas, and the sun falling on the Himalayan snow, showering gold all around, and a thought comes into your mind, and the Himalayas have disappeared, the thought clouds you. You remember something: the other day somebody had insulted you, and that's enough. Or you start planning for the future, 'Tomorrow I have to leave', and the Himalayas have disappeared. And the thought is so small, and the Himalayas are so big... But even a small thought can hinder. The thought is so close to you, and it can stand in between. Just a small particle of dust can fall in your eye, and just a small particle -- almost invisible -- can make you blind, and you cannot open your eyes, and you cannot see the sun shining. Sudha, do only one thing: start dropping the very concept of inferiority, the very concept that you have to be extraordinary. Now, even this question contains it; she has signed the question... your ORDINARY BUDDHA, SUDHA. Even in that, the ego is claiming that 'I am no ordinary BUDDHA. I am an ORDINARY Buddha.' You follow me? 'Buddhas are extraordinary people; I am not like them -- I am an ordinary Buddha.'
This is claiming extraordinariness.
HELP ME FO BE ORDINARY.
You want to be extraordinarily ordinary?
The ego can go on playing games, subtle games. You will have to look through and through. Just remember two things. One, you are already that which you want to be, hence there is no need to do anything for it. You can call it ordinariness, you can call it extraordinariness -- it makes no difference -- you are already that, you can never be anything other than that. What you call it does not matter. If you are in love with the word 'ordinary' then everybody is ordinary. If you love the word 'extraordinary' then everybody is extraordinary. Remember only one thing, that whatsoever you claim for yourself, you have claimed for the whole. And that is the trouble, you would like to be special, not like everybody else.
So, I know, Sudha, you will be in difficulty: I declare you extraordinary, but everybody else, all your neighbours -- even Pramod -- is doubly extraordinary. And please, don't go to a lawyer!
The Sun Rises in the Evening Chapter #8 Chapter title: Enough of the Trips
18 June 1978 am in Buddha Hall
SO BE IT.
It is from Sudha.
You will not be able to understand the question because the questioner has a long history. Sudha has been asking for months together, again and again, and I have not been answering her because I always suspected that her question was not the true question and the true question was hiding behind it. Then, one day, out of desperation, she wrote the real question. The real question was: 'Osho, I want you to tell me that Sudha is my greatest sannyasin, and you never say it, you never even mention my name.' But I didn't answer even that. So now, finally, she writes this question: 'So be it.'
Now the time has come to answer it. Remember, whenever you ask a question, there is always a hidden meaning in it. It may not even be apparent to you, you may not even suspect it. You may think'This is the question that I am asking', and there may be something else. You may want me to pat your back, to say 'Very good.' There are a few questioners who ask such cunning questions. For example they will say Osho, great silence is coming, great energy is arising. What do you say about it?' If I take their question at the surface and if I say'Good', then I have conceded that they are arriving very close to enlightenment. All that great energy and all that great experience that they go on writing about again and again in their questions is not happening. If it were happening, they would become more silent. If it were happening, their questions would disappear. If it were happening, they would not be in any need of confirmation, they would not be in any need of approval. It is not happening.
You ask a question; you are in great need somehow: your ego has to be strengthened. I am here to shatter your ego; I am not here to strengthen it. If I strengthen your ego I will be your enemy and not the friend. It hurts: if I shatter your ego it hurts. But finally, you will come to know that that was the only thing to be done. It is surgical, it hurts; but only this surgery is going to transform you.
Sudha is beautiful, but as humanly weak as everybody else. As everybody would like to be patted on the back, she also likes to be patted. I am not a miser, I can pat -- there is no problem in it. I can say 'Sudha, you are great', but that will poison you. That is not going to help. That will hinder you. That will inflate your ego more. You will become more solidified in your egoistic projections. No, I cannot say that because I would like you to really become great, and to really become great means to become egoless. The only way to be really happy is to be without the ego. You seek in the world, through money, power, prestige. Then you become a sannyasin and then you start seeking the same old disease in the new names. The old politics comes back, you start competing.
Drop all these things. Here, at least with me, be plain, be ordinary. And the more ordinary you are, the more extraordinary you will become. The more you efface yourself. the more you will be. The moment you cease utterly. you become divine. Nobody is barring the way except your own ego, except you. Sometimes the ego is such that it can take nourishment from anywhere.
'Now, Mistress O'Grady' the attorney asked 'you say your husband never said a kind word to you since you were married. Are you sure of that?' 'Come to think of it' she replied 'once in a while he did say "You're a foine one".'
Now the ego can even have nourishment from where no nourishment is possible. Remember the subtle ways of the ego. My whole work here consists in dissolving you, in dismantling you, in destroying you, so that a new being is born, so that a resurrection becomes possible. I am a cross to you, so that I can also become a resurrection to you.
Osho, Tao: The Pathless Path, Vol 1
Chapter #6 Chapter title: I am a cross to you
16 February 1977 am in Buddha Hall