Dear Friends, liebe Freunde, Satgyana
left his body this morning, in Boulder, Colorado.
Our most beloved died this morning at 6.30am, just as simply and sweetly in the way that he lived his life. He even died sitting up as he had hoped, showing us all that he was a true yogi right to the end.
I am so happy for him.
He is free at last.
I love you all,
so does he,
Our dear Satgyana died five days ago and I now find it in me to write a few words.
As I would wish for any of us to go, Satgyana died last Wednesday morning as early morning light began streaming into his room. His Beloved Neera hugged him, told him how much she loved him, and wished him well on his journey,
He had asked me on numerous occasions in the days leading up to that moment to make sure he was sitting, he really wanted to die sitting up. I was staying in my RV just next to their apartment and at about 6:15 that morning Neera called me and asked that I come help him sit up. He was still very present, even doing his best to help me help him up. He rested in my arms, while Neera held him. To her loving words he sighed, took another small breath, I reminded him to visualize Osho, he relaxed that out breath, paused, paused, took another small breath, let it go. I reminded him 'There is nothing to worry about, your body is just dying, thats all. Watch the breath, when it stops, your body is dead and you can go.' He paused, I assume to see if there would be another in breath, there was not, he left.
So peacefull it was that Neera too asked if he was dead. I confirmed that his body was dead and he was free to go. We held his body in our arms for a while longer then rested it back on the pillows. Just as simple as that.
Neera took some time alone to say her private good bye. I went for coffee.
One by one friends were called to join. As the day continued, so too, more friends, beloveds, arrived. His body and the room filled with flowers, we sat. Samir and Ashik came with guitars and song, we sang. We silenced, we told stories of him and how he touched our lives. I gave out chocolates as Prasad, from Sats, him thanking everyone there for coming and sharing this day with him. Evening came, night fell, and still a few sat in silence by his body in his bed. I packed his body in dry ice and help ed Neera make a sleeping place for herself on the floor next to her Beloved.
Next morning, about 25 hrs after his passing, Neera, Parmitta, and I washed his body, wrapped it, put on his Mala and Osho hat, and laid him out on the simple stretcher Ashik had so lovingly made for the occasion. Incense burning, we began flowering his body, the stretcher, the room. Friends began arriving and joining in the sacred space. 'Doing' came to an end and the room again filled with silence. Tears came and went, sobs came and went, guitar arrived and song filled the room, silence, silence, and a little more song. 11 o'clock came and it was time to leave for our appointment with fire. As brother and friends carried his body, we sang, gathered balloons, and put Sats' prepared body in his own old car, dirty as he always drove it, and headed down the hill to Boulder. The slow drive, in procession, lights on, flashers on, balloons fluttering, took close to an hour covering the 20+kms to th e crematorium. There, the staff graciously aloud us to enter by the back door directly to the oven. We paused just outside for a few more songs, then slid his body into the oven and closed the door. Neera pushed the 'Start' button in final farewell and as the sound of furnace and blowers roared, so too, our song raised to great heights. Balloons were let to fly. and Sats' body was gone from our lives.
Each of us who have known him will carry his spirit in our heart. We will let his life, and his death, inspire us.
Sats used this process to it's fullest, even helping teach me how I can best assist beloveds during their similar processes. I feel Honored and Great-full to both Sats and Neera for allowing me to be a part of this sacred journey with them.
In Love and His Blessings,
Some of you know me but most of you don't...that doesn't matter as we are all one family.Neera and Sats came into my life about 15 years ago and since the moment we met, the bond was made and sealed and every day that went by I loved them both more and more. I was in awe of their relationship...so much love, tenderness, caring and joy (and, of course, the occasional argument) but I have never witnessed two people care for each other as much as Neera and Sats did.
I was blessed to be part of Sats' journey from the moment we discovered he had cancer and I don't use the word 'blessed' lightly. I feel all of life is a blessing and as Sats said, 'wouldn't change a thing'. We were all shocked to hear he had cancer and when Neera asked him what he wanted to do (right after they found out), he said 'let's go have tea'. That was Sats..so simple and accepting of whatever life brought him, even in facing his own death.
I will share something that is ver y special to me...the day before he passed, there were 4 (which included Neera) of his closest female friends, all who had been with him since the discovery of his cancer. We went to the hospital, to doctor visits, making food for them and hanging out as much as possible. So there we were, sitting around him on his bed. By this time, he was on a morphine pump and pretty 'out of it' most of the time, although still very conscious. Each of us had a hand on him..on a foot or a knee or a hand, just touching him. He had his head down with his eyes closed and then all of a sudden he picked his head up and with his piercing, bright, brilliant blue eyes, looked deep into each one of us, knowing exactly where each of us were sitting...I said "Sats, your gopis are here"..a big smile came on his face and then he closed his eyes again, resting. It was the most intimate and profound and powerful moment...one that I will never ever forget.
The next day Neera called me in the morning to let me know Sats had died. I drove right up there and it wound up being the same 4 women together again with him for many hours. He looked so beautiful...so peaceful and the essence in the room was a stillness that is beyond words. We started putting flowers around him and after some time, other people started showing up, almost everyone bringing flowers. Each person sat with him for a few moments and then joined the group sitting on the floor. There were moments of incredible quiet, beautiful singing, tears, laughter, joy...celebrating the life and the gracious passing of this most beautiful being. This continued on into the evening and then Neera spent her last night alone with her beloved.
The next day was the day of his cremation. Ashik had built a stretcher for him. I can't tell you how thankful I am to Ashik, Nitty and Parmita for making sure everything went so smoothly...so perfectly...and it did. We put many more flowers around Sats' body, he was wrapped in a sim ple white cloth. Neera had put a Osho-type cap on his head and we put a photo of Osho on his chest and his mala around his neck. He looked so beautiful!! After a while we took him down to the mortuary and the morticians stood by as we sang and sang and sang...we cried and laughed and said our last goodbyes, although Sats' essence completely surrounded us. Then they slid him into the oven, the door closed, Neera stood silent for a moment and then pushed the button that started the blazing flames surrounding him. We sang more and balloons flew high into the sky...we cheered! I have never experienced such a profound quietness inside myself...thank you Sats...thank you for being the simple being who you were and thank you for sharing that with me...I learned much from you through our friendship and love, through your life and your death and you will forever live in my heart. My gratitude abounds.
I have just posted some photos on the satgyanalove website taken when we took Sats to the crematorium the day after he died.
I was very touched when we placed Sats' body in his car and drove in a very slow procession of ten cars, each with blinkers and headlights on, all the way down the mountain and through Boulder to the crematorium. It exhibited such a feeling of unity between us and respect for Sats' body. When we got to the crematorium we placed Sats in the sun, which i am sure he loved, as Samir led us in song and we gave him such a heartfelt farewell full of singing and tears and rejoicing our Beloved.
After his body had entered the oven, and we drowned out the sound of it with our singing, i let go of the balloons to send him with love on his final flight.
Thank you everyone for your outpouring of beautiful loving emails to me.
I have been so strongly supported by them, and for the love that i have received from our community here, making it possible to let go so totally through this whole experience. I could not have done it without you.
I feel blessed beyond measure.
I miss Sats terribly and yet i feel him so close too.
Much love to you all,